Darrek Ferrell, ICMA-CM on LinkedIn: The Science of Civility: Playing the Devil's Advocate (2024)

https://ift.tt/5rv8WKlThe Science of Civility: Being Right vs Doing Righthttps://ift.tt/z7Xw49QDo you ever find yourself struggling with the urge to correct someone when you hear them say or see them post something so far off that you can't resist? Over the next several months, we should all be prepared to witness some of the dumbest comments and theories we will ever hear. It's not new—it comes with every election cycle—but I feel compelled to write about this because I see American civility going right off the cliff in this cycle. Subscribe nowOver the past few years, we have all become familiar with the term "Fake news." In 2008, "Dog Whistle Politics" described how politicians employ certain words or phrases to appeal to specific groups. In that election, electioneers crafted a narrative questioning Barack Obama's birth certificate and legal right to run for President to galvanize a group of voters who didn't ask questions.In 2004, the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth popularized the term "Swiftboating," meaning exaggerating an accusation to diminish someone's character, when they called into question John Kerry's war record. In return, the other side did the same to George W. Bush's war record, but they were less impactful than the Swift Boat Veterans.We can go down the list. In 1992, we learned about "Spin" from George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton. In 1972, Nixon's opponents popularized "Dirty tricks." Even in 1828, John Quincy Adams made disparaging remarks about Andrew Jackson's marriage to his wife Rachel, and Jackson fired back by accusing Adams of hooking a Russian czar up with a young American girl for a good time. These personal attacks aimed to make the other candidate look dirty, leading to the term "mudslinging." In that election, the stress of the personal attacks against Rachel Jackson became so intense that it was partially blamed for her untimely death less than a month after Jackson's victory was announced.Political races are often like watching clips of racecars crashing or sending flying parts into the audience. When the candidates depart from the issues and launch personal attacks, we find casualties in our relationships with friends and family. You can immediately think of at least one person you unfollowed on social media or started avoiding in public because of wild claims they insist on making about a political candidate. So, how do you avoid letting a flying political hub cap slice through your relationships? I can't tell you that you should never correct your friends or family. Sometimes, that would be the equivalent of letting them walk around with broccoli in their teeth. I also can't tell you that you should begin a crusade for truth because the manipulation involved in political campaigns relies heavily on kernels of truth to ensure that the crazy comments are not entirely wrong. Instead, I recommend you employ two strategies - examine your motives and conduct a cost-benefit analysis before...

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https://ift.tt/BXTO1iZBeat the Heat, Part 2https://ift.tt/krmughiI went to a baseball camp at A&M Consolidated High School one summer. One night after the camp, I remember seeing on the news that the temperature hit a record high of 112 degrees while we were out in the field. I never even noticed. Subscribe nowDon't get me wrong. I knew it was hot, but I also knew that every day was hot. Thankfully, the camp staff kept us hydrated, and we never faced any danger. Despite the conditions we were immersed in, all we cared about was playing baseball. Years later, I was lucky enough to be a part of the TxDOT Summer Hand program. I worked in the maintenance office in Madison County, and throughout the summer, we regularly had to treat the roadway with lime because it got hot enough to cause the oil to bubble up. After all the roles I've had, those summers were some of the best days of my career. Even now, living in the sweltering heat of South (or any part of) Texas, think about how much you hear people complain about the heat. Yes, people mention the heat, but it's rare to hear anyone drone on and on about the temperature outside. Instead, most people change the parts of the environment they can control and adapt to the parts they can't. We all face challenges - often some that will derail our lives. In every trial, there are pieces we can change and others we can't. We talked about Marcus Aurelius and Stoicism back in February. Marcus Aurelius learned much of his philosophy from a former slave named Epictetus. So when Marcus Aurelius said, "You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength," he was probably thinking about Epictetus, who said, "Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens."We don't control most of our environment, the people with whom we engage or their actions, or the scarcity of the resources we have on hand. Yet, we are still frequently required to adapt and overcome. This summer, as the mercury rises and the storms rage, "make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens."I probably didn't know that I should have been uncomfortable that summer on the baseball diamond. Where I grew up, we didn't have much to do indoors, so the summer heat was just a fact of life. Nobody could do anything about it, so I never learned to complain about it. Instead, I learned baseball. In the early years of my adulthood, the men I worked with didn't complain about the heat; they dealt with its effects. It didn't stop the camaraderie or the relationships we formed. During this time of year, I often think about those months, and I have never thought about the heat. Whether it's the scorching Texas heat or the pressures of modern life, remember the wisdom of the Stoics: focus on what you can control and accept what you cannot. We are at our best and grow the most when we identify the elements within our control and focus on...

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https://ift.tt/KLU04n8Beat the Heat, Part 1https://ift.tt/e598HTiThe passing of Memorial Day Weekend is the official start to summertime, and the thermometer does not disagree. This past Memorial Day, I spent some time doing yard work, and I encouraged my son to spend a little time outside with me. It was scorching, but he was a trooper. When it came time for a break, we sat in front of a small but mighty fan, and I pulled a gallon jug of water out of the refrigerator. When I gave him a drink of that ice-cold water, he remarked how refreshing it was.Subscribe nowAt that moment, my mind drifted back to when I ran cross country in high school several years ago. For me, a cross country race was a test of my endurance and a race against myself. I never cared about winning the race, though I realize that was the point of the whole thing. I always sought to finish faster than I did in the last race, which was still far behind the fastest runner. When I trained independently, I ran 5 miles down some country roads, though the race was 3 miles long. Although these runs typically took place in the fall, they were often very warm. One August day, I ran 5 miles, and I remember sweating more than usual. When I got home, I went straight to the shower, hoping to wash the sweat off me. In my haste, I jumped in the shower before the water had warmed up, and the showerhead blasted me with cold water. I know that there are dangers associated with pouring cold water on an overheated person, but this was at a time in my life when I still worked and played outside every day. I was not medically overheated, but I was certainly uncomfortably hot and sweaty. I can still remember feeling first the surprise and then the relief of that cold water. I reached for the knob and turned down the heat to make that feeling last a little longer - at least until my body temperature evened out and the cold became uncomfortable. Sitting with my son, I was allowed to share the lesson I had learned after that long, hot run. I explained to him that the same water that tasted so good at that moment would have tasted like just another class of water if he had been sitting comfortably inside the air-conditioned house. Our desperate need for relief from the heat made the water taste so good. A few years ago, I heard John Dau tell his story about being one of the Lost Boys in Africa.He described being part of a group of children who lived on the run, often naked because of their hardships. Then Dau told about finally reaching a United Nations aide camp where they gave him a woman's blouse to wear, and he was never more grateful for a piece of clothing. He described his disbelief when he came to an American grocery store and saw that our pets had whole aisles of food in the grocery store. After the talk, while waiting for the parking attendant to deliver the car, I found myself standing next to John Dau, also waiting for his car. He and his wife planned to take their f...

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https://ift.tt/GytfoCwAn Open Letter to Graduateshttps://ift.tt/b1l2Li5We have reached that time of year when the workplace is flooded with a new batch of graduates, ready to take on the world. Colleges held ceremonies earlier this month, and high schools are preparing to celebrate the culmination of more than a decade of work. Every year, I think about what I wish I knew then and scroll through article after article about inspiring commencement speakers. I also reflect on my graduations and all the associated events - including two interesting commencement speeches I was fortunate to hear.Subscribe nowWhen I graduated from Texas A&M in December 2008, George W. Bush gave one of his last speeches as the sitting U.S. President the day before my graduation. A few years later, when I finished my time at Texas A&M and my Master's Degree, I listened to Dr. Robert Gates close out his time as the sitting Secretary of Defense by imparting a few last words to the Aggie grads. That one was particularly interesting because I also began my time at Texas A&M when Dr. Gates was President of the university. The first formal event I attended on campus was a scholarship banquet in October of my freshman year, and Dr. Gates was the speaker. I remember hearing all about his career up to that point and telling someone at my table I thought it would be cool to meet him. That night, when I stood up to leave, I pushed my chair in and turned around to the former spy standing right behind me with a smile and a "Howdy." President George W. Bush called Dr. Gates away from the school a year later to be his Secretary of Defense.Small world, huh? And that's the point.Today, it is easier than ever to become a celebrity. There are reality TV stars, YouTubers, and social media influencers. A single tweet (or whatever they're called now) from anyone can end up on national TV if it gets the right person's attention. It is more challenging than ever to go unnoticed in a world where your face can be found in the background of a stranger's vacation photos with the right search engine.Many graduation speeches will discuss this as one of the most exciting times in history to be alive. Very few will say it is also one of the most dangerous times to live.I learned a technology term, which I am confident I will write more about at some point—"Sherlocking." It means integrating features of a competitor's product into your product, and large tech companies usually do it. Think about how Facebook (Meta) recently launched Threads to compete with X (formerly Twitter) and launched Reels to compete with TikTok. That's different from how I learned the term.I first heard of Sherlocking from an article about how OpenAI used Scarlett Johansson's voice without permission. And I don't mean to say they took a recording of her voice and replayed it. They took her voice, or so goes the claim, and gave it to Sky, a robot who can carry on a full-fledged conversation with ...

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https://ift.tt/xebtwhGCommunicating Squarelyhttps://ift.tt/s80OwKZI was working on a building project with some lumber a few years back when I misplaced my speed square. I recruited my son, who, coincidentally, had just learned some shapes, to help me in the search. When we found it, he gave me a perplexed look and quickly informed me that this was a triangle, not a square.While this is one of my favorite funny memories of doing a project with my son, it's also an excellent example of a challenge we all face regularly.Subscribe nowHow often do you ask someone to do something, and they deliver a service or product different from what you had in mind? At a restaurant when they get your order wrong? Over the phone or via text when making plans with friends and someone goes to the wrong place? As a parent or supervisor, does the final product look different from what you expected?I laugh about the confusion in my son's voice, but can you imagine how frustrated he must have felt? He spent all that time in the heat and the sawdust, looking for something I had not asked for. Surely, his dad couldn't be this stupid. Aren't you the guy that just talked to me about shapes?Most of us have had the experience of giving a gift or handing over a finished product to someone who wasn't as excited as we hoped they would be. Or maybe you've been on the receiving end of a disappointing delivery. How do we avoid that?Many years of communications research and best practices have culminated in a strategy known as the CLEAR method.Clarity: Ensure that your message is straightforward to understand. Avoid jargon and ambiguous language.Listening: Actively listen to your audience's feedback and questions to ensure they understand your message.Empathy: Consider your audience's perspective and background knowledge when crafting your message.Accuracy: Provide precise and correct information to avoid misunderstandings.Relevance: Keep your message relevant to the context and purpose of the communication.I used jargon when I asked my son to help me find my square. For him, a square meant something entirely different than it would have to someone who worked in the building trades. Although I did not think about it when I asked, I was not very clear about what I was looking for. Often, we can forget to clarify our goals or our expectations when we ask for things.Probably the best example of Clarity comes from Ron Swanson, who said, "Wait. Wait. I worry what you just heard was give me a lot of bacon and eggs. What I said was, give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?"As we searched, I do not remember him asking very many questions or making suggestions. I also do not recall watching very closely to see where he looked. If I had, I would have realized we were looking for a different thing. Active listening is about paying attention to those with whom we are communicating. It's about remembering that communication is a two-w...

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https://ift.tt/bLwj41YPop in to Show Appreciationhttps://ift.tt/jUFM6XLIf you've ever watched National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, you might remember the silly product that Clark Griswold was so proud to work on. He called it the "Crunch Enhancer" and described it as a "non-nutritive cereal varnish" that coats and seals the flake and prevents the milk from penetrating it."That part of the joke made Clark out to be the ridiculous guy who could believably walk his family through the snow to get a Christmas tree and forget the saw or cover his house in so many lights it caused a blackout.Interestingly, a few characters you probably never heard of are Frederick and Louis Rueckheim. Subscribe nowFrederick emigrated to the United States from Germany and found himself in Chicago, trying to help clean up from the Great Chicago Fire in 1871. Along the way, he met a man named Brinkmeyer, who had lost his popcorn stand in the fire. Frederick helped Brinkmeyer re-establish the popcorn stand and eventually brought his brother Louis from Germany to replace Brinkmeyer in the business. This was a good call because when Frederick bought the equipment of a local Dutch confectioner who was returning to Holland, Louis learned to make candy.At the time, popcornhad a sticky issue. The natural sugars and moisture released during the popping process caused the kernels to clump together, making it a less than ideal snack. This was a problem that needed a solution.Imagine you are a hard-working man cleaning up burned buildings all day and decide to treat yourself to a snack. You buy a bag of popcorn, and the whole thing sticks together in one giant clump. It sounds frustrating.In 1893, Chicago was the host city for the World's Columbian Exhibition, otherwise known as the World's Fair. After being embarrassed by the unveiling of the Eiffel Tower at a World's Fair in Paris in 1889, the U.S. spent years planning to release marvels so great there would be no denying our status as the world's greatest nation. The event in Chicago featured the newest technology, including electrical innovations from Nikola Tesla and George Westinghouse, a precursor to the zipper, and an answer to a large steel tower - the first Ferris wheel.Amidst the technological marvelsof the 1893 World's Columbian Exhibition in Chicago, the Rueckheim brothers presented their ingenioussolution to the sticky popcorn problem. They poured hot molasses over freshly popped popcorn, adding nuts for flavor. The molasses coated each kernel, and as it cooled, the snack could be enjoyed one piece at a time. This innovative approach to popcorn was met with acclaim, and three years later, a customer's enthusiastic exclamation, 'That's crackerjack!', became the snack's enduring name.In 1893, the nation was looking for a big win, and the Rueckheim brothers stepped up to the plate and knocked it out of the park. Still, nearly a century later, only a goofball like Griswold would be exc...

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https://ift.tt/5sPB1nzEvery Character Has a Storyhttps://ift.tt/dhuQrs5When I went to Texas A&M, it had just a little more than half of the current enrollment, but we still found ourselves crammed into buses and dining halls and waiting in long lines everywhere we went. It is a mystery to me how they managed a student body twice that size in such a short time, but Bryan and College Station appear to be thriving with new amenities for the influx of people.On one hectic day, I was fortunate enough to have secured a table all to myself in the Commons dining area. I probably didn't realize there wasn't another empty table, but one older man and his graduate assistant did. Also, in full disclosure, I have never been the most spirited Aggie, but I do love the hospitality and friendliness that Aggies show to others. I've even perfected my own version of Howdy that I say when passing strangers in random places.As I sat at my table unwrapping my Chick-fil-A sandwich, Dr. Arnold Krammer, an elderly man with a head full of white hair and an even thicker mustache, walked up to me and asked if he and his graduate assistant could join me. For all I knew, he was a grandfather visiting his favorite granddaughter, but without hesitation, I agreed to let them sit at my table.As we talked, he learned I was on my way to an American History class, and I discovered he was also a history professor. I still remember his words because I thought it was a strange exchange for simply giving up two seats I was not using anyway. He said, "In exchange for your generosity, when you are ready, send me an email, and I will ensure you get a seat in my class."Later, I mentioned this exchange to another faculty member that I knew. Then, I learned that Dr. Krammer was no run-of-the-mill professor.I learned that during World War II, Nazi prisoners of war captured by the Allies had to be held at roughly the same latitude as the place they were captured. As a result, many of these prisoners were shipped to the United States and held in prison camps all over the American South, including Hearne and Huntsville, Texas. Despite their enemy affiliation, these POWs were treated to a hefty dose of Southern hospitality. They would regularly escape from the prison camps, wander into town, and purchase ice cream, which they would eat while they waited to be rounded up.But there's always one.Subscribe nowA single escapee evaded U.S. government officials for more than 40 years. Dennis Whiles contacted Dr. Arnold Krammer in 1985 to confess that he was Georg Gärtner, and he was Hitler's Last Soldier in America.After I learned all this about the professor I had lunch with, I emailed him to ask if I could come by his office to talk. I wanted to learn more about his class. We didn't talk about his class or Georg Gärtner. Instead, he told me a story about a paper he wrote in graduate school that required him to interview former President Harry S. Truman.Dr. Krammer,...

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https://ift.tt/DTrtedRPride and Protesthttps://ift.tt/LB1AcavThis week, I received the updated appraisal for my house in the mail. Interestingly, we receive that bit of information almost immediately after the deadline to file income taxes. Staring at that paper this year, I found another interesting thing.Subscribe nowIn my line of work, I could give you an article every week on property taxes and the craziness surrounding them. We are constantly hearing State Legislators talking about property tax relief. Not long ago, I heard one very respected and knowledgeable State Legislator tell a crowd that the State had surplus revenue, so they reduced what school districts could charge in local property tax. She didn't mention that the State of Texas receives $0 in revenue from local property taxes, but she did acknowledge that the Legislature did not redirect the surplus to the Independent School Districts to make up for the reductions in property taxes. I could go on and on about this one topic, but that's not an interesting thought, and you would probably stop reading.Everyday Eureka is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Think about the status symbols and financial goals we were told to shoot for when we were younger: Have a nice house, get a nice car, get a good job that pays you a lot of money. I remember multiple occasions when my dad marveled at my lack of handiness and mechanical skills by telling me, "I hope you make a lot of money so you can pay someone to do this for you one day."In the age of social media, we proudly show off the things we buy. When we get a new house, we pose with the sold sign in front of our recently acquired domains. Car dealerships are all too happy to help the buyer take a photo and celebrate their new ride.Then come taxes.After we've taken our photo, hoping to impress our friends and family with the quality of our new home, we get the notice of how much the Central Appraisal District thinks our house is worth when it's time to start calculating our tax bill. Enclosed in the envelope, along with our appraisal, is a form that we can send in to argue that they might be too impressed with the home we were showing off on social media. They give us the right to protest their appraisal in an attempt to lower the taxes we will be required to pay.Why do we, as a population, like to show off what we have achieved in almost all cases except at tax time? The only other instance of this behavior I can think of is when we pay a ridiculous price for something that should not cost what it does. Even then, the mega-wealthy sometimes do that to show us they are so wealthy they can pay ridiculous prices.The answer is loss aversion.We have always viewed taxes as a loss of income, and the rate at which home prices rise can create a sense of insecurity. The assumption with property taxes is that if the value of my property...

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https://ift.tt/jdvgzpsTurning Obstacles into Opportunitieshttps://ift.tt/LbN8lIOIf you've been reading for a while, you will remember a series of posts inspired by my time around the fire pit. Last week, during a storm, a large ash tree in my backyard broke and sent half the tree crashing to the ground. As I worked to clear what I could, I spent some time reflecting on the tree and what lessons might be hiding under those toppled branches.Much of my career has been devoted to learning and practicing disaster management. I have served as a city official during floods, shootings, apartment fires, and freezes. In one case, a wall was blown off the side of a water treatment plant when the motor control center exploded. In at least 3 cases, the cities I worked for ran out of water. In every one of those cases, the first step is a triage. We assess what's broken, critically damaged, and what can be repaired.Without much thought, I went through the same process when I stood in my backyard looking at the disaster at the top of my tree. I looked for damage to the house and checked for damage to the patio. Next, I assessed the potential for further danger from what could fall. A colossal branch blocked all sunlight to my grass, which, if left too long, would kill the grass - but more importantly, a second gigantic limb was partially resting on my gutter, directly above the glass-filled back doors. While the lawn is important, the second limb threatened the property and anyone who might walk out that door.After talking with a few people who knew how to handle this situation better than I did, I equipped myself with suitable saws and some rope. I developed a plan to tie the base of the limb to the tree trunk and cut the branches off the sides to minimize the potential for damage if it fell.As I stood on the roof cutting the branches, I heard a loud crack and felt something grab the back of my leg. It was a branch still tangled with the giant limb, which had broken from the tree and was now falling to the ground. I side-stepped the branch and watched as the rope tightened and yanked the giant limb away from the house as it crashed to the ground. It was a proud moment for this amateur lumberjack.With the house now safe from the potential for further damage, I compared the amount of work left to do with my other obligations. I determined that I had neither the skills nor the time to do everything needed to finish the job in my backyard. So I seized the opportunity when a tree trimmer rang the doorbell to ask if I needed any help with my trees. His crew of about eight guys finished the job in an afternoon and left me with a small mountain of firewood.Now - imagine you've chosen to buy a new car. First, you are going to evaluate your current vehicle and your reasons for replacing it. If it's unreliable, you are seeking to reduce the risks associated with the vehicle. Having determined your needs, you will likely research car brands and...

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